Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
