hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
