There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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