so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
