ugly people sure do ruin things
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
