I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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