Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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