i wish my penis had a tongue
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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