Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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