Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
