My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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