Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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