we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
