But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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