Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
