I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
