omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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