Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize