i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
