Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
