I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
