You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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