you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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