so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
