How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
