I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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