Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...