I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
