do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
