You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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