don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
