Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
