My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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