he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
