Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
