Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
