After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
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I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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