I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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