I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
