if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Less talking, more tequila
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
