You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
