you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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