um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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