woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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