I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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