Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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