Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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