The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
