Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
