who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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