oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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