Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
