I wish I only lived at night.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
