I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
