Will you blow on my dice?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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