only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
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Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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