420 ftw
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
His nipple licking is glorious
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
